Immortality can mess with your mind Seriously
by Darthrose
Summary: “Must resist urge to drop books! Dropping of books into lake imminent. Must let go of one hand! Newly bought manga, project due today… Manga? Project? Manga? Project? MUST SAVE MANGA!” --Takuma Ichijo. This is not a yaoi fic. Sorry people!


It was another night. Just another night like all the others. The stars were out and the cold night air wafted freely around campus. Takuma Ichijo, Vice-President of the Night Class was on his way to his test when he bounded the corner only to spot Kaname, his best friend, making out with his first love, Mikoto.

**Inside Takuma's head:**

"**Must resist urge to drop books! Dropping of books into lake imminent. Must let go of one hand! Newly bought manga, project due today… Manga? Project? Manga? Project? MUST SAVE MANGA!!!"**

And with that thought, Takuma let go of one hand, dropping all his books, save his manga into the lake beside him. This in turn caused him to flunk his midterm exams. The sound of the books dropping caused the two lovers in front of him to break out of their kiss.

Mikoto's eyes flew wide open and Kaname told her to leave in his 'seductive voice'.

Once the brunette was gone, Takuma asked in a shaky voice, "Kaname, how long have you two been… going out?"

The blond was cautious in picking his words, not wanting to give a loophole for the pureblood to escape through.

The pureblood thought for a moment before saying, "For about four months now."

Takuma's eyes widened and he stared at the words 'four months' which were floating above Kaname's head. The vampire looked up but saw nothing and returned his quizzical gaze to his best friend.

He knew that Takuma claimed that he could see things other people couldn't. Once, he even said that there was someone writing down everything they did and said 24/7, as if they were characters in a story. Not only that, for the past three months he had been saying, 'I know you're out there! Show yourself!' Not to mention he was wearing a tin foil hat on his head because he thought aliens were slowly brainwashing him. And to top it all off, there was also the time he said he saw little green men running about the campus.

Kaname tried to stop him from going over board and telling everyone about it. But sadly, Takuma burst into the headmaster's room and started spouting nonsense that the earth was being invaded by aliens over the speakers which were situated all over campus. Takuma still couldn't live that day down.

Immortality can really do stuff to you…

"I know what you're thinking Kaname! It wasn't my fault!" Takuma snapped at Kaname knowing exactly what he was thinking about.

Kaname let out an exasperated sigh before repeating what he had said to the blond for about a hundred times already.

"It was Halloween Takuma…"

"Well no one told me!" the blond snapped. Kaname sighed once more as he rubbed his temples. Finally he spoke, "There were fliers everywhere… and I'm sure Mikoto gave you one..." the pureblood shook his head before continuing in a slightly disappointed tone.

"But then again, I think you were in a little daze."

Kaname smirked knowing full well of his friend's infatuation with his girlfriend.

Ichijo quickly turned on the defenses then tried to explain himself, "Hey! I wasn't in a daze! And anyway, how was I supposed to know they weren't aliens??"

Kaname let out a groan before saying, "There were tags at the back of their costumes which said 'Made in China'…"

"China, China, China! Why can't they say 'Made in Atlantis' or something??" Takuma ranted as he stomped his foot.

Kaname sweat dropped before stating plainly, "Atlantis is underwater…"

"Well I'm sure they can ship their stuff!" Takuma pointed out as if he made perfect sense. Which he didn't.

"Takuma… Atlantis is a _**myth**_… Even if it really was real, everyone there's dead because they're _**underwater**_. You _**can't breathe**_underwater…"

The pureblood stressed on those words, hoping that it would get through his friend's thick skull.

_How stupid was he? _

_Did his mother drop him on the head when he was a baby? _

_Did he chew lead pain off his crib when he was a baby? _

_If that were the case, then it would make perfect sense…_

The blond finally got it and all he could say was, "Oh."

The Kuran clan member sighed once more before his friend said, "Well back to the main topic."

Kaname flinched, wondering whether Takuma remembered the scene between him and Mikoto. But Takuma said, "Back to those aliens…"

Kaname let out a sigh, partly of relief and partly because he was getting tired of this conversation, "They were humans Takuma, humans. And they were only five years old Takuma… you didn't have to point that shotgun at them…"

"Those Trick-or-Treaters had deformed pumpkins carved to look like heads!! It's not right!" Takuma snapped at Kaname.

Kaname sighed and shook his head but flinched when Takuma said, "anyway, I was mad at you for something…. What was it?"

'_Uh oh… the empty space in his head is starting to work again…' _

The brunette thought before making a quick diversion.

"Because… I was the one who stole your onigiri?"

Dark, demonic energy started to seep out of Takuma causing Kaname to gulp slightly. Something had snapped within the depths of the blonds' mind. Kaname knew he should've gone with the weather.

"Kaname… you told me… it was Aido… Now because of you he has to eat mush out of a straw for the next week!!" Takuma yelled with flames erupting from behind him, special effects are thanks to the backstage crew of Vampire Knight.

Kaname swallowed hard remembering the punishment Aido was put through, now he really, really wished he went with the weather.

_**Inside Takuma's head:**_

"_**Cannot control. Anger building. Must rant. About what? Which holds higher priority? First love? Onigiri? First love? Onigiri…? ONIGIRI!!!"**_

Out of nowhere, a mike appeared in Takuma's hands coupled with a few subwoofers.

"Mikoto… made those… for me… THOSE ONIGIRI WERE MINE!!!!!" he yelled into the mike so loud it caused Kaname to lean back against the air pressure.

When he straightened up his hair was in a complete mess.

"I… will never forgive you Kaname Kuran!!" The blonde yelled as he lunged for Kaname.

Kaname ducked and rolled to the side before running off with a lunatic raving about onigiri at his heels.

In actual fact, Kaname had stolen the onigiri and had given some to Aido to blame it on him, and it was frikken worth it!!

* * *

**A/N: A completely random thing that I thought off! I took this from my one shot [Kaname] How I met your Mother [Kuran] and took a certain part and turned it into a blooper. This; is the end result.**


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